PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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