My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
