just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
