as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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