I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
