If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just want to make out with him forever
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
