You're completely useless in the revolution.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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