I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
