pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
