think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
