Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
