My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
