He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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