how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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