I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
