When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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