And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
