I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
