who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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