And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
