yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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