i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
