he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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