Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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