No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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