I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
