Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize