you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
