New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
