i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
