I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
this will be a night to untag.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Dicks are not precious.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
