Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
