Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
