it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
