Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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