You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
