he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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