guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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