better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
