By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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