How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
there's paper in my vomit.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
