It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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