do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
