so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
