Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
