We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
