Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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