Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
