I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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