I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
