Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
