We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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